I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
