piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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