Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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