We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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