I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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