She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
