i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
