the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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