their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
