she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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