Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
