super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
