Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
