I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
