my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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