If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
