She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
