I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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