can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
