I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
