why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
