Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
