omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
