WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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