Whod you bang
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
