I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
