Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
