i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
