ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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