You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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