i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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