Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
