I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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