im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
