remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
