He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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