I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
