Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
