My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
