alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize