the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My vagina is officially offended.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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