No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
