pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
