I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
