You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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