Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
