I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
