She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
