your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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