I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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