The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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