What did we do last night that was yellow?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
