I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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