Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
