No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
