So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So vagazzling was a success
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
