p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
