Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
