Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
