Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
two words: eviction party
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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