I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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