This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
