hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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