At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
