There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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