I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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