I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
