So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
