I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
